Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Gyno-chiatrist: A new type of specialist that helps men determine what makes them such pussies.
Absolutely priceless...

Friday, May 25, 2007

Dog day weekend...

Hey yall. Charlie here.
Today is a landmark day for me. My dad put a hole in the glass door so I can go outside and drink pool water and pee in the grass anytime I want. And come back inside anytime I want. Pretty cool.
Plus, for the first time I didn’t have to spend the whole day in my crate. All day I was a free dog. “Viva la Revolution” or what ever the heck my Chihuahua friend Jaxxie says.
Anyway… My dad is telling me about this weekend and how it’s more special than most other weekends ‘cause of the people that fought for our freedom. That’s cool. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere but my Dad’s house and if it wasn’t for all those soldier guys I might have to eat scraps from behind Burger King or McDonalds or something. That would be sucky ‘cause Eukanuba KICKS ASS and it’s my favorite food. Mmmmm.
The other cool thing is all that racing stuff. I really don’t understand going fast in a circle but my Dad thinks it’s cool. So of course it must be.
See you by the pool…

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Someone call 911...

Florida is on fire. Yesterday at 6pm, when the sun should have been blazing bright and hot... it was not to be. The smoke from the wildfires in north Florida and southern Georgia was so thick you couldn't see more than a quarter mile and the sun was completely obscured. It seemed like it was past sundown. Today it cleared up for a bit but about 5pm it came back with a vengence. Lungs and throat burning, eyes watering.
But then I think of the firefighters that are out there right now trying to get the monster under control, as I sit in the air conditioning.
Guess I should just be happy and shut the hell up...

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Laminate this...

Several years ago on that TV show Friends, the characters had a “list” of 5 or so celebrities that they laminated and kept in their wallet. Apparently if you had this person on your list and you, by some quirk of fate, had the opportunity to have sex with them, then your current girlfriend (or boyfriend, whatever) had to allow it, no questions asked.
Just like reality (note the sarcasm in my tone).
But what the heck, I’m a guy and we tend to believe that if we ever got a woman alone for a few minutes we could charm our way into their pants.
So here I go with my laminated list of names
Catherine Bell
Elisha Cuthbert
Carrie Underwood
Jessica Biel
Daisy Fuentes
Yep, all the rest of you ladies read ‘em and weep. But just because you didn’t make the list doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have sex with you, oh quite the opposite. It’s just that these are the top five that I am “allowed” to have sex with and get away with it.
So if you ever see one of these five ladies in Ocala with that lonely, desperate look on their face just point them my way and let them know that they are in for the best 8 seconds of their lives.

Stop laughing Charlie, It could happen…

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Once again into the breach...

I had a blog here once before. I enjoyed doing it but my life went through so many changes all at once that I had a difficult time laying it out for the world to see. But for the past several months I feel like I have gone through the fire and emerged on the other side a better person. Hopefully. This new blog will be the new me, unscripted and unencumbered with the bullshit perception that what people think of me is more important than what I think of me.
Thank goodness for Charlie. He keeps me in line and brings me back to reality when I need it. He's pretty insightful for a Golden Retriever.
I think he wants to make the next entry...

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Hi there. It's me, Russ, and my best friend Charlie. Charlie and I will be taking turns making entries into this blog but I would expect that it will be mostly me because of my excellent typing skills. Charlie ain't so good at it seeing that he doesn't have thumbs and only 4 fingers on each paw. Plus, his point of view is a bit skewed and he sees things from a bit of a different angle than I do. But I guess that may make this a bit more interesting. A dogs perspective vs. a grown mans. Grown but not grown up that is.
Charlie's favorite comic is Get Fuzzy and I'm sure he'll take the opportunity to quote it or even post up a favorite strip. Any time a cat gets "thrown under the bus" is a good day for Charlie. A "dogs eye view" will liven up this blog, that's for sure.
I, on the other hand, will take every opportunity to express my opinion on anything and everything that I choose. I won't allow myself to shape my words according to who I think may be reading and what their opinion may be. I am what I am and that's just the way it's going to be.
So put your seats and tray tables in their fully upright and locked position, we may hit some turbulence.
But it won't be the first time...